If the moment has come where you can't take it anymore, breathe and prepare an action plan so that you are well. Health is not played.
Recently, while facilitating one of my parenting workshops, I observed a young mother crying in the audience. At the end of the event she approached me, thanked me and apologized for not being able to control her tears. I told her not to worry, but she needed to talk and told me that she felt very tired, anguished and even depressed with all the things she has to do on a day-to-day basis with her children. In addition, she indicated that many times she felt overwhelmed and out of control, causing her to yell at her children from time to time.
These symptoms are most likely the result of what is known as burn parent syndrome. Just as there is job burn and the burnout caregiver syndrome, which is reflected in emotional and physical exhaustion, parents also have a lot of burden that can lead to burning.
Parenting is a complex and exhausting task. We have an excessive workload, particularly when we add the work we do outside the home to family responsibilities. We live with many pressures and expectations to be good workers, parents, children, siblings, neighbors, friends, among others. In many cases we overload ourselves and fill the plate with more things than are reasonable to handle. This excluding l as assignments I know many families where children have too many extracurricular social activities that end up overstimulated.
It is essential that we take time to take care of ourselves and nourish our body and spirit to avoid burning. We must have the conviction that to be better parents we have to feel good about ourselves.
Below I share some indicators to know if we are suffering from burned father syndrome.
Fortunately, there are mechanisms that we can include in our daily routine and that allow us to better balance our responsibilities with our emotional load. Among the actions we can take are the following:
1. Communicate and divide the tasks with your partner - It is important that you express your emotions and that you ask for help if you feel that your burden is excessive. If you are single, then create a support group.
2. Get support - possibly you have family or friends who are willing to help you and who can shake your hand when you need it. Many times we are afraid to ask for help but there are many people willing to ease your burden. In the same way, nurture those relationships by offering to help other parents when you think so.
3. Make time for yourself - Think about your needs and cultivate your interests. If you are not well, neither will your family. Try to make a space in the week, even 30 minutes, to disconnect and do something you enjoy.
4. Planifica tu tiempo – Organiza de antemano tu semana y lleva un calendario que te ayude a planificar y anticipar situaciones estresantes. De esta forma tendrás mejor control sobre tus responsabilidades familiares.
5. Cuida tu salud – Haz ejercicios, aliméntate bien y duerme al menos 7 horas diarias. Tener una buena condición física y energía son elementos esenciales para sobrellevar la carga de responsabilidades que tenemos y prevenir las enfermedades.
6. Haz algo que te relaje – Practica técnicas como meditación o lectura que te permitan mejorar tu enfoque, te provean un espacio para preparar tu mente y mejorar tu estado emocional.
7. No busques ser un padre perfecto – Dicen que la perfección es enemiga de lo bueno. Acepta que con la llegada de tus niños hay cosas que van a cambiar como quizás el orden en la casa o la puntualidad. No te pongas presiones de más y acéptate como el gran padre que estás intentando ser aún con tus imperfecciones.
A veces sin querer nos ponemos presiones innecesarias. Para que nuestra familia funcione adecuadamente debemos vigilar nuestra salud, tanto física como emocional. Cuando te sientas sobrecargado o angustiado, busca ayuda, exprésalo y toma las acciones necesarias para salir de ese ciclo. Queremos que estés bien y que no seas un padre quemado. Vamos a apagar la hoguera.
Do you have communication problems or a difficult relationship with your child and you don't know where to start? I invite you to sign up for a free 30 minute session with me. Press the FREE CONSULTATIONS section and separate your space. I would like to help you.
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