I recently had the opportunity to read the results of a survey conducted by the NBC network which shows that 49% of the couples interviewed consider that their intimate life has been affected by this whole situation of the coronavirus and quarantine.
We are surprised because in the face of anxiety, confinement, pressures and uncertainty, it is natural that our levels of cortizol, the hormone that causes stress, are elevated and as a result our libido can be affected. However, we cannot lose perspective that at this time it is also important to keep in mind, not only the needs of our children, but also those of our partner and those that contribute to the well-being of living together at home.
So if you feel a little off, here are some tips to stay present and maintain the connection with your partner or life partner.
Talk and express your needs
We cannot expect our partner to guess what we are feeling or what we need. Although at times it can be uncomfortable, it is essential that you look for the right moment and express your concerns and emotions to your partner. Remember that communication is the beginning of understanding. Perhaps your partner, as the days go by, has not realized that he is distant and the conversation with you can bring him to reality and take action on the needs of both.
Maintain physical contact
Let him know that you are there, that he cares about you and that he can count on you not only with words but with your hugs or kisses. Human beings need physical contact to feel loved and safe. The family therapist, Virginia Satir, affirms, according to her studies, that a person should receive or offer no less than 8 hugs a day to maintain their well-being. In addition, it is important that we hold those hugs for at least 20 seconds so that our brain releases oxytocin, the hormone responsible for the sensation of well-being and satisfaction in humans and which helps to counteract stress and anxiety.
Show solidarity and empathy
Collaboration and teamwork is important so that your partner feels supported and supported on a day-to-day basis. Particularly at this time, in which housework has become much more visible, we must let our partner know that they can count on us and that we will not leave them alone. We must not forget that we both work and that children, like the home, must be shared tasks.
Find alone time
Es recomendable que la pareja separa un espacio de tiempo cada día sin interrupciones. Elijan el momento según su conveniencia puede ser en la mañana antes de ir al trabajo o por la noche luego de acostar los niños. No tienen que ser espacios largos, al menos con 20 minutos es suficiente. Lo principal es que sea un tiempo de calidad y que ambos aprovechen y disfruten al máximo. Ya sea conversando sobre el día, escuchando música, comiéndose un postre o simplemente mirándose tomen ese tiempo para estar presentes, en cuerpo, mente y espíritu y recargar las baterías de la conexión.
Mantengan sus rituales de amor
Love rituals are wonderful routines to connect, awaken passion and keep the spark of love burning. From bathing together, having a few glasses of wine to the beat of soft music or watching the sunset together one day a week, we should never abandon that type of activity that provides desire and intimacy with your partner.
Although this period is complicated and causes in us anxiety, uncertainty or fear, we should not allow it to affect the relationship with our partner. The support, solidarity and love of our partner, without any discussion, make the situation more bearable and the well-being of the family prevails in this period. It is in our hands to stay connected and united.